Individuals with autism and other developmental disabilities are often interested in things that may be classified as “age-inappropriate interests.” These can be toys intended for much younger children and television shows or movies made for a younger audience. While some professionals push for age-appropriate interests in an attempt to “normalize” them, as a special education teacher studying Educational Psychology and mother of three with autism, I encourage you to embrace their differences.
One reason I would like to point out for allowing toys and movies intended for younger children is that for some with autism and other developmental disabilities, their chronological age may be higher than their developmental age. For example, my middle son is 11, and age-wise should be in 5th grade. However, academically, we are working on kindergarten skills. Therefore when he chooses toys that are typically for a 5-year-old, that is actually developmentally appropriate for him.
Next, I want to talk about comfort, safety, and anxiety. Everyone wants to feel comfortable and safe. No one wants to live their life in a state of anxiety. Autistic people stim to regulate themselves and to get the stimulation they need, and we shouldn’t block a stim unless it is dangerous. Additionally, some autistic people have difficulty making eye contact and should not be forced to simply because it is a social norm. This can be anxiety-inducing for the individual. Everybody takes measures to comfort themselves or to self-soothe, and this may look different for different people. Therefore, if a 16-year-old is carrying around a teddy bear everywhere he goes, or a 20-year-old brings her favorite Barbie doll with her out in public, that is okay. This item is bringing them comfort, and everyone should have that right.
Neurotypical adults also own items and watch movies intended for children. Many adults collect stuffed animals, and Lego sets, wrap themselves in Snuggies, or collect toys. They even started making adult coloring books when coloring would be deemed a childish skill by some, but for others, it is a relaxing activity. There are also thousands of adults who honeymoon at Disney, a place originally made with children in mind.
It is okay to introduce “age-appropriate” toys and movies as well, but there may be issues with fine or gross motor skills, or cognitive skills required for some activities. In this case, think creatively to adapt the activity to their ability level, or you can set it aside for a later time. I always encourage every parent to push their child out of their comfort zone and to try new things. Introduce toys for older kids, try different movies, and take them to new restaurants, but always remember to allow them to decide what comforts them, as you get to decide what comforts you.
Written in collaboration with Occupational Therapist, Victoria You and Speech Therapist, Maittee Grana.
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